I have tons of paperwork and odds and ends to finish up, but after facing the computer for a few days at a stretch, I’ve decided to abandon my responsibilities just for the night and produce a print of an illustration I recently made.

Aaaaaahhhhh.

I’m having a lot of trouble with Flickr today, so I’m just going to take it as a sign.

I’ve fallen off the daily drawing wagon for awhile, but I’m planning to get back on. You’ll be the first to know. ;)

Drawn on the fly with a calligraphy brush

Saw a bunch of pigeons today outside. And of course, my imagination had to run wild.

I wrote a little post on Pikaland about LONO, a shop in Japan, where the illustrator draws on dolls. Click here to read more if you’re into that sort of thing.

“It is time for me to go away from from this medium and make something that scares the shit out me and challenges me in new ways.”
~ Gayla Trail

Sometimes I want to do it all. Sometimes I feel bad about not being able to do it all. The realm of the internet can make one do funny things, I think.

That’s what got me thinking today, and it’s always good to be aware that this is not a competition to make it to the top, not a competition to be the most famous, the one who gets the most hits on their Statcounter, etc. It’s just throwing yourself out there and having fun. No mean feat, considering I’m a very competitive person by nature — I do not want to participate in things that I don’t have a chance of winning, like competitive sports, for example. It’s crazy, I know. But for the past few months I’ve been reeling myself in and giving myself ittle slaps accross the face, and telling myself to loosen up and think of the big picture.

I need to stop being so competitive and just stick my nose on the grindstone, where it belongs.

My daily drawing project goes on, and because I don’t do drawing on a whim, I’m going to do this exercise (I actually cut up the pieces and stuck it in a jar, and pull out one everyday. Yes, I need someone to tell me what to do.)

And I’m sad that this will be no more.

A blob here, a dab there — and I have to fill in the blanks. I love this exercise!

It’s been a week since I’m back, and while some of my work is winding up, I have some new ones in as well. I’m eager to get everything out of the way, so that I can embark on a personal create-a-thing-a-day month (without actually being on the website — I love the idea, but I don’t want to wait until February next year.)

Although technically I shouldn’t have to wait for everything to wind up before I can embark on it, it’s just a quirk of mine to want to clear the table, before I sit down for a feast.

Along with my friend’s camera in hand, a month away from home trained my eye to be more keenly aware of my surroundings. I started noticing the shapes and lines of things, and how they are connected to each other. I started taking photographs of color, numbers, words, lines and shapes — no matter if at that moment they seemed to not have any connection between them.

My only fear are the moments and places that I couldn’t capture on camera will be forgotten. It’s a thought that’s hardest to bear.

I’ve been back for a couple of days now, and I am very quickly getting into the swing of things. An illustration project (where I am tethering too close to the deadline!) and the PikaPackage Project keeps me busy, as I tie up several loose ends here and there too.

It dawned on me, as I sit here working on my dining table with a cup of tea, that I am now living out my dream of being a freelance writer/illustrator; and to be able to work on one of my biggest pride of all — Pikaland — has made me realize how lucky I am to have an opportunity such as this.

While I do say that luck has played a part, I believe it is a culmination of several different paths which I have taken over the course of several years that has led me to this. There was a lot of sweat, tears and joy as I traverse through untrodden path, and it wasn’t only my belief in myself that kept me going; the faith of others pushed me through as well, and this has played a big part of how I am able to push myself against the hamster’s wheel and break free.

Thank you for everyone’s comments on my Illustration Friday theme last week — it does feel good again to be able to participate.

And oh, Opportunity, if you’re listening — I’m open. :)

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I wrote a short intro to the shopping haven on Sanjo and Shijo-dori in Kyoto on Bloesom’s World Tour ; thank you Irene for inviting me! {We should probably be doing one about KL very soon!}

Drawn with a calligraphy brush, and digitally rendered. You can see a bigger image here.

I worry about things all the time; tough worries like:

• I worry whether I’m being the best that I could be;
• I worry about being broke; and
• I worry about whether I’m doing the right thing.

And simple worries like:

• Did I lock my car?
• Did I close the fridge tight?

Most of the time when I worry about things that are out of my control, it makes me want to curl up and wrap myself under a ton of blankets and wish that the storm will pass soon.

Drawn on the fly with a fat calligraphy pen. It’s interesting to get to know a new member of the family — my pencil box family, that is.

I noticed something as I walked outside today, along the Philosophers Path (what irony!).

We’re constantly bombarded with trivial issues — TV shows, movies, entertainment gossip, mindless commercials, etc; that all these seem to pass into our brain and exits just as quickly — without leaving a mark; without ever being useful.

If we’re constantly being nonchalant about all these useless information, what will we do when there’s real information to be gleaned? When there’s a real gem waiting to be discovered — a life’s lesson perhaps? Will we be able to sieve through it, or will we just let it slip, just as we do with all the crap that we have to face everyday?